cat: *meows in a distance*
my mom’s voice from the kitchen: you want a tomato, you fool? you won’t eat it
cat: *meows louder*
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Get a partner whose reaction to seeing you naked is always as if they’re seeing you naked for the first time.
In the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me, then he slapped my ass and said “back to business.” I’m going to marry him.
When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.
cynegetic